The First Law of Blood-Rhythm

Tonight I played the drums and I played the rhythm of freedom for my uncle, Pacu. I won't ever forget him. He was the only man who'd listen to me, who could understand.

I'm so tired of beating my heart out for no one to hear!

I saw my mom at the pyre, she's still a good for nothing whore that I don't know. I wonder if someday she'll have the guts to tell me why she didn't love me enough.

Fuck her! Oh wait, everyone already has.

I felt my fist ball up and I wanted to slug her, so hard.. right in the face. Her face enrages me, I hate her face. I wanted to feel the crunch, I wanted to feel the blood spread out under my knuckles. But she isn't my mom anymore. She's some guy's slave, an easy fuck. She begs men now on her knees. Where did my dad go wrong? Guess he failed with her like he did everything else. Nice guys finish last. Isn't that what they say? He seems to have believed it enough to live it.

If there's someone I don't think deserves to be alive. Someone I think is a piece of shit waste of skin, it's my mom. Why couldn't she be like other moms? Why couldn't she be like Aunt Astar? Why did she have to be a whore? A guy should grow up with his mom, and she should be there for him, like a mom. Either that or dead.

So life didn't give me any breaks when it came to my parents. And don't waste your breath trying to tell me that life isn't fair. I got it.

So Pacu is gone now. The one man I thought could understand me. I thought I was kinda like him. I liked to think so anyway. He was cool, not like the rest. Now he's dead and I'm left with Pei .. and Fonce. Let's not forget Fonce.

Yeah, life isn't fair .. but I don't have to be happy about it.

Tonight I beat my heart out on the drums. I threw it down for Uncle Pacu.

I hit them instead of my mom.